The last time I felt this was many years ago, when I and Nette were still together. 5 years of good old fashioned relation but all of a sudden, it's all gone. I was depressed and sad for many months, until I got my first job as a TS in one of the call centers in Makati. Job helped me overcome it, then I was good after.
Now, I felt it again... not with a GF but my wife, Tin. If she only knew how much i love her, kaso she can't see nor feel it coz alot of issue happened and maybe she sees me that way na, i could never change it.
Accidentally read her diary, from what I remembered - entries was dated Jan 2011. One was "she is starting to like this guy, she's feeling something" and many more. When I turned it to the next page, I saw "she get's irritated and affected when this guy is not texting/calling her". I was really sad finding out this things.
I know I'm not good, so many things happened to us... but still trying to be good, I know I'm good until the last time we fought. No one to blame here, she's was tired and I don't have my patience that time. I wish i could go back to that date, it changed everything.
I'm so weak now, and I know she is too. But ako, dun parin ako sa tama, I still do what I normally do, there may be change in my attitude but gee, I can still go back.
If she only knew how much I miss her, I was so sick.
Rewind;
Maswerte pa pala ako, kahit na dumaan kami sa maraming prob, hindi ko parin naisipang mag beerhouse, lol!
Not other people I used to know, and hindi ko din maatim to spend just to forget some issues.
